Poems for Sabrina

My best friend Sabrina's birthday is Jan. 3 and since I'm a little short on money I'm writing her a bunch of poems for her birthday/christmas present and I'm teaching her how to snowboard. So far I've written 3. Please let me know if you have any thoughts on them b/c i want them to be perfect for her present.

Binds

Let's be Friends.
A statement unspoken
A thought shared

Will it stick?
Will it grow?
We had no idea.

Who knew we would
Connect so quickly
Letting go of first impressions

Looking deeper
Seeing each other for who we are
The internal beauty

I've seen your heart
You've seen mine
Now we know

It's gonna stick and
It's gonna grow
This bind is built to last.


Hearts Beat As One

It began so simply.
We are bound together
Our hearts know

This is Beautiful
It's meant to last

It began as Friends
We broke those binds long ago
Breaking the bounds of DNA.

Sisters. Follows next
The connection is stronger
The binds are tighter

Our hearts know
one another
beating together

We share.
Our sorrows
Our joys
Our love

We share.
Our successes and failures
Our laughter and tears
You laugh, I laugh
You cry, I cry
Our hearts beat as one

True Beauty

Open your Heart to all
you share your joy
Giving love

Every smile, Every hug
gives a glimpse of
the beauty inside

Your over the top
your more nutty than crunchy peanut butter
Your effervescent as the wings of an angel

You are your own person
No one is gonna change that
It's beautiful

Who you are is what you do
You love and share and give
What you do is beautiful

You are beautiful inside and out
and darling
this beauty is eternal!

-let me know what you think guys. thanks.

Notice

Hey bros, this is just me warning you that if you ever talk to mom or dad about anything that i write on this blog i won't talk to you for a VERY long time.

that said now i can get on with the story of my very complicated life.
I skipped school today at the request of my mother. We went to the cities to visit a small liberal arts college by the name of Augsburg. It is awesome! the only thing wrong with the place is that it is in minnesota and the closest ski areas are afton alps and welch village. Arthur, Caleb or Seth if you happen to know of any small awesome liberal arts colleges in utah or colorado or washington for that matter, please notify me b/c i would really like to go to one and as much as mom wants me to stay close i really don't want to be away from the mountains. You are probably thinking, Why doesn't she just come to BYU? well i dont want to go to a huge college like that and there are too many mormons. Frankly i don't know how you handle it.

you rain on me - cleanse, cleanse my soul -the soul to be -the me to be -now i stand all skin and bones -only a voice to scream at you -Theif you've t

this isn't something i wrote but i think its pretty darn awesome. these are the lyrics to the song- Thief, you've taken all that was me by Weezer.

Thief, of silent dreams
Of golden scenes
Stole away

All, it was in me
It wasn't me
Who slipped away

Now I stand with skin and bones
Without a dime to call my home
Only a voice to tell you
Thief, you've taken all that was me

Rain, It laughed so hard
It cried on me
You rain on me

Cleanse, cleanse my soul
The soul to be
The me to be

Now I stand with skin and bones
Without a dime to call my home
Only a voice to scream at you

Now I stand with skin and bones
Without a dime to call my home
Only a voice to scream at you
Thief, you've taken all that was me

it's in the air

ginger, cinnamon,
warm cocoa, bread baking
can you smell it?

warm ovens,
roaring fires,
rush of icy air through the door thrown open,
followed by the warmly welcomed
suffocating embrace of family
can you feel it?

frosting cookies,
wrapping the tree in memories, love, and hopes
filling its base with gifts to and from.
can you wait?

long awaited tales
connecting across countries, states and oceans
laughter, tears of joy and sorrow, voices
all flitting around and around
wrapping everyone up in warmth and love.
can you hear it?
can you feel it?

snow falling past frosted windows
smiling faces all in a circle
cookies wrapping paper and presents all mixed together
vibrant greens, reds, golds blending and flowing
twinkling lights and eyes
can you see it?

now blend it all together
family, love, joy
laughter, good food
brothers, sisters, bestfriends
gifts, snow, fresh baked cookies
steaming hot cocoa, tales of adventure
fun, love, surprise, sadness, and joy
new friends and old

can you smell it?
can you hear it?
can you see it?
can you feel it?
its in the air!

its not santa or his elves
not presents not death
no its a celebration
of the birth of our savior
of the love in our lives
of our family
of good friends

its a time of gratitude
a time of giving
a time of love
a time of hope

in all these things
in all these ways
all together--
we give thanks to our lord and our savior
on christmas day for all that we have.

Merry Christmas guys
i know its early but...
"its in the air"
p.s. i love all you guys (sabrina included)

but OH! what could have...

It flits through my consciousness
alighting for a moment
pull me in
turning on a light in my mind

it's a spark.
setting my imagination on fire.
the wheels began to turn.
gears churning faster and faster
lance armstrong is behind the handlebars
my mind keeps charging

building speed
breaking through barriers.
skipping over.
flying past.
so fast
not quite sure what is happening
all i know
it feels like heaven

my mind is full of hope
possibilities
the options are endless

ive got no idea where im goin
i hope im doin this right?
right now!

No! dont catch it!
do you dare to pause and question
ability and power
all you need is heart, drive, passion

these are the fuel
my mind is the engine.
but oh what sparked this flood
breaking down the dam
holding me back

but OH!
what could have shook my mind
causing this avalanche of hope

don't catch it
let it catch you
carry you away
into the unknown

oh the beauty of it

but OH! what could have caused this?

don't let it flit past.
jump on and fly away
fly away into the future

but OH! what could have caused this?
this marvelous idea?


fyi. arthur i never proofread these b4 i post them.

the beauty of poetry

ive written enough poetry today but i cant stop thinking in that way. people always say that the eyes are the window to a person's soul but i think that there are some bigger windows. poetry is a really big one. when i write poems its a way to get out all of my thoughts and express how i feel sometimes by a lack of words like reading between the lines. its a lot harder for people to do that with prose than it is to see the deeper meaning in poem. writing is one of the most powerful gifts god has given us. it allows us to express and feel, to show others how we feel and it can give us a better understanding of others through similes, metaphors, the feelings words give you, allusions, and all sorts of other awesome literary devices. of course sometimes its fun to just talk.

forget prose lets write poems!

heart and home

they say home is where the heart is
my heart is not at home where they live

it wonders lonely searching for somewhere
somewhere it might find love -- here?
no not here. anywhere it might find peace
in this suffocating place others believe is home -- I find no lease

all alone i search for a place
as if trying to win a race
my time is short before i break
this cannot wait ive gotta make a break

break loose let my heart free
to live and learn. tear and heal. let me be
give me a chance.
now ill get my own experience

the more you hold on
the more you put my soul in a box
the more you do this
the faster you will lose

let me go and who knows
my heart will wonder
it will find its own way
who knows

i may come back
if you love me you shouldnt care
where i am
who i love

who im with
it shouldnt matter
if my heart finds a home
but its not with you

you say you love me
so let me free
to find my own home
where my heart is content

where i have a home
they say home is where the heart is
i say they're right
too bad my heart has no home!
-annalee morris

you've got no idea!

so you say you know whats best
you create all these rules
you think these rules will keep me safe
you have no idea

what do you think you're doing
you think you can teach me
well giving me a bunch of rules will just make me flee
you have no idea what you're doing

its not that i think ive got more experience
but i can't live vicariously through you
your mistakes don't make since to me
you have no idea

what im going through
is nothing like how you
lived. ive got my own life
you have no idea

stop trying to teach through rules
its just plain cruel
i wont learn if i dont live
you have no idea

it takes experience
it takes mistakes
let me make my own
you have no idea what you're doing

im going to make mistakes
im not like you
they are gonna be different than yours
you have no idea

who i am and what i need
from you. isn't rules
its love and understanding
you have no idea

how to raise me
how to teach me
how to love me
you have no idea

ive learned nothing from you
all ive got is your DNA!
this is me
you have no idea

everything i am is
what i want to be
i know you dont agree
you've got no idea

how to deal
with the real me
dont try to mold me
you have no idea

im stronger than you think
and ill push back harder
than you ever thought i could
you have no idea

soon it will be too late
ill be gone
and i WILL find my own way
you have no idea

you think this is all you
but you're wrong
its all me and
you've got no idea

when you finally see me
it will be too late
and who i'll become
is someone ill love

just give me a chance to learn for myself
because...
you've got no idea
what you're doing or
who i am!
-annalee morris

Poetry

so for world lit. we had to write 2 poems about 2 sides of the same topic so i wrote mine about the beauty and horror of poetry. here they are:
Let it FREE!
Emotion. let it free to breathe
Write It! Imaging freedom to love
Hope for things unseen. Let it Loose!
Write It! Discover its graceful
Beauty and wondrous mystery.
Express a multitude of thouhgts
Write It! Metaphors, similes,
Personification. Imagine!
What beautiful words, Poetry.
Write It!

The Weight of it All
Words, Words, Words! Overflowing my mind!
What do they mean? Who cares? Over It!
All these words -- overdose of nonsense
Just Say It! Plain and simple. Why not
Leave it plain and simple. Don't say
Poetry. The weight of all those
Darn emotions and ideas. Fills
My mind -- taking control -- begins
Crushing my soul under its weight.
I'm So Over It!

feel free to tell me what you think.

First Snowboarding Day of the Season! (yeah i know your jealous)

I went snowboarding last night! It was pretty sick! and amazing and awesome and beautiful and cold and snowy and fast and heavenly! It was Friday. As soon as the bell rang at 3:03 I booked it out of school, found my car and sped home. When I pulled into the driveway Adi was already there waiting for me to go so I ran around the house changed into my snowpants, grabbed my gear and shredstick and headed out the door. We piled our stuff into my tiny little cavalier, cranked up the rap music and began the hour and a half long drive out to Buck Hill which turned out to be more like 2 hours b/c of the traffic going to Twin Cities. 5 minutes before we actually got to Buck we could see the lights on the hill glinting off the flying snow from the many snow guns and we started to get really excited. As soon as we pulled into the parking lot we hopped out of the car and laced up our boots, grabbed our mittens hats and snowboards and headed out to the slopes (dont worry caleb we did buy tickets). Bursting with excitement we hit the slopes and surprisingly we didnt get bored with the four runs they had open. After about two hours we went inside and got some food and then we went right back out and hit the park. Adi did some rails and I did a few small jumps. We kept at it until about 8:30 when we left in order to get back to Roch before 10 to go see Twilight with a bunch of other people.

If you are thinking about going to Twilight, just wait until you can rent it b/c it is not worth the price of a movie ticket. The dialogue throughout most of the movie was awkward and kindof wierd. The plot jumped from one part of the book to another lacking the smooth flow of the novel, the CGI was also quite fake looking at times and very obvious. That said it was really quite hilarious but some of the humor was b/c of how bad it was at times. The only redeeming moments were when the cullen family played baseball and Emmet.

this poem explains how i feel today...

"One Art"
The art of losing isn't hard to master;
so many things seem filled with the intent
to be lost that their loss is no disaster.
Lose something every day. Accept the fluster
of lost door keys, the hour badly spent.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

Then practice losing farther, losing faster:
places and names, and where it was you meant
to travel. None of these will bring disaster.

I lost my mother's watch. And look! my last, or
next-to-last, of three loved houses went.
The art of losing isn't hard to master.

I lost two cities, lovely ones. And, vaster,
some realms I owned, two rivers a continent.
I miss them, but it wasn't a disaster.

--Even losing you (the joking voice, a gesture
I love) I shan't have lied. It's evident
the art of losing's not too hard to master
though it may look like (Write it!) like disaster.

-Elizabeth Bishop

Poem of the week

The last Night That She Lived

The last Night That She Lived
It was a common Night
Except the Dying -- this to Us
Made Nature different

We noticed smallest things --
Things overlooked before
By this great light upon our Minds
Italicized -- as 'twere

As We went out and in
Between Her final Room
And Rooms where Those to be alive
Tomorrow were, a Blame

That Others could exist
While She must finish quite
A Jealousy for Her Arose
So nearly infinite --

We waited while She passed --
It was a narrow time --
Too jostled were our Souls to speak
At length the notice came

She mentioned, and forgot --
Then lightly as a Reed
Bent to the Water, struggled scarce --
Consented, and was dead --

And We -- We placed the Hair --
And drew the Head erect --
And then an awful leisure was
Belief to regulate --

-Emily Dickinson

Why must boys be so dumb?

Yesterday was Saturday. All week I had been planning to go see the play that my best friend Sabrina is playing the lead in. The plan was for me, Adi(my best guy friend), and Francisco to drive up to Austin Highschool on Saturday for this play but then Sabrina had to invite my ex boyfriend Jordan. I figured okay whatever as long as I dont have to drive up in the same car as him b/c a.) he has really bad taste in music and refuses to listen to rap along w/ a lot of other really good music like Cake or the Decemberists or Modest Mouse and the list goes on, b.) its a little awkward since I broke up w/ him b/c he still isnt over it and gets jealous of guys i hang out with and in general is just making it really hard to be friends again b/c he wants to be more than that. It was going fine we all met at Sabrina's play but Jordan had been a butthead about the whole driving set up and all but whatever. Then after the play we all went over to Sabrina's brother, Noah's house to watch a movie and eat pizza. And then things got even more wierd. Adi and I were just hanging out like normal and as i learned today Jordan thought they we were going out so he was making very subtle digs at Adi all night and was being quite rude, especially at the end of the night. Ergh why do guys have to be so dumb.

Random Thoughts on life, the universe, and everything AKA Let's Dance to Joy Division!

I just realized that I have found the answer to that annoying question people always ask you for those wierd get to know you things. Describe yourself in one word? Now what does a person say to that? Who wants to put themselves in a box built of adjectives. No word in the english language can truly describe a person; their likes and dislikes, their personality, their hobbies, their family. Each and every person is so complex. But I think I found one word to describe me, random, while I know that this is not everything i am it does encompass a lot of who i am. I'm always the person who gets the class of topic and on some new random tangent, i'm into a bunch of different things, my outfits are bright and colorful and depend on how im feeling at the moment i get dressed, i hate to plan things i just like to go with the flow but at the same time i want a very general outline that changes and stretches as new thoughts and ideas pop up. My emotions and thoughts are all over the place and very very random. Half the time things only make sense to me and the other half of the time things end up coming out in a very smart profound or understandable way. The only thing about me that seems to be constant is my major addiction to snowboarding and my love of my awesome bros.

Lately I've been reconsidering what i want to do with my life after i graduate highschool. When i was in 6th grade i wanted to be a math teacher, 7th-8th it was a history teacher, then in 9th grade i decided i wanted to be a history or biochem professor. Until the last 2 months I was very sure of what i wanted to be when i grow up but now i'm not so sure. Ive had a lot of factors influencing this change.
First I became a snowboarding addict and now i cant imaging being inside working for the rest of my life.
Second in the past year my body has decided to rebel and make school as difficult as possible. ive been going to the doctor at least once a week sometimes up to 2 or 3 times in one week. Needless to say school is no longer a top priority in my life.
So here's what I want but im not sure exactly what career it would fit into (it seems that like me my career choice will never be able to be put in a box and labeled).
Writing- i love to write obviously. when i write i feel like i can express myself so much better and completely then when i am talking.
Learning- i love learning new and interesting things but i dont want to get stuck with the same old every day.
Outdoors- i love being outside and just enjoying nature. last summer i went on an overnight hike while i was visiting caleb in utah, one of the best times of my life, being outside at one with nature.
Snowboarding- lets just put this bluntly, i am addicted. i need snowboarding in my life. the feeling i get when i strap into my snowboard and take off down the mountain. it is indescribable. I feel so at one with everything. my board becomes an extension of my body and mind. i live for powder days.
Photography/Art- recently i've begun to look at things as if through the lense of a camera and it has actually given me an interesting perspective and insight on life in general. ive also become much more interested in art (abstract painting)

All things combined i really have no idea. Maybe a writer for a snowboarding mag or a sports photographer or an outdoor researcher or maybe and environmentalist? who knows but my brain is just bursting full of ideas.

I have begun to live by my own slightly plagiarized moto: Make every moment count, take advantage of every awesome opportunity, take time to appreciate God's wonderous creation around you and then just put everything in God's hands, let things flow and know that it's all gonna be allright. :) Just be happy and enjoy every moment you can!

Fridays, Snappy Stop, and Edward Scissorhands

Fridays. They just make me wanna sing and dance so thats what I did on Friday. Me and a friend went to Snappy Stop for some rockin burgers, fries, and ice cream sandwiches. We then proceeded to find a bridge on the Douglas Trail, sat down, made ourselves comfortable and prepared for the amazingness of the first bite of a Snappy Stop burger. First one must remove the tomatoes (which we attempted to throw of the bridge but the ended up getting stuck), then close your eyes and take a bite of the amazingness, savor the taste of ketchup, the perfectly grilled burger patty, the lettuce, the mustard, and the warm melted cheese, mmmmmmm. Every few bites eat some delicous Snappy Stop french fries with ketchup. And finish the meal off with the perfect conclusion, the homemade icecream sandwich! After finishing our awesome burgers Cory and I headed off to savers rockin out to The Killers, The Academy Is... , Cake, Beastie Boys, Metro Station, and Weezer. At Savers we began our search for awesome clothes and some 80s wear for Catherines 80s Party. Starting at the guys shirts we found an awesome Killers shirt for $3, then we went to the sunglasses and bags where cory got a fanny pack, hilarious/awesome sunglasses, and a hat. After that we headed to the boys section and got some more awesome shirts to share (we wear the shirt wash it and then switch; its like having twice as much stuff but only paying for half of it!). Next came my search for an 80s outfit. I found a ridiculous looking pink dress and some huge pink dangly earing to complete the outfit. In celebration of our awesomeness and our sick new savers wardrobe we headed out to Cory's car where we cranked up the music and had a mini dance party in the parking lot. On the way back to my house we continued to rock out to the tunage. At my house we watched Edward Scissorhands. Let me just say that I love Tim Burton movies and this one was equally awesome and wierd. Although I have to admit that I like the first half of the movie much better than the second half. And that is how to celebrate a Friday!

boyfriends, best friends, brothers, blogs

I have recently decided that boys + parents = some of the biggest pains in the butt ever!
I'm a very energetic impatient and random person which is a very interestering combination and then you had in the fact that I have chronic fatigue and / or fibro mialgia you get an extremely tired hyper and random mixture which has led to people thinking im drunk or high. The funny thing is the closest thing I have ever had to drugs is dark chocolate. I have never even had a sip of caffeine or an energy drink. Speaking of I must get some rest if I am going to be able to wake up at 5:00 am tomorrow for seminary so I will continue this awesomely fantastic narrative of my life tomorrow.